Learning to Live
by flowercrownprincess
Summary: Dean goes home to the bunker after a long week of hunting. He thinks about how far himself, Sam, and Cas have come. Sam is still out hunting for another week, so Dean has some alone time. Maybe he should call Cas to hang out? Lemons in future Chapters. Destiel
1. Chapter 1

The first thing Dean did when he walked into the bunker was take off his shoes and place them neatly onto the little rack Sam had bought. He was so relieved that Sammy had finally started to unpack and settle in. Finally calling this little slice of heaven home.

Dean knew it was hard, Sam didn't have the memories that he did. No matter how vague they might be. Of having a home, being loved, feeling safe. Dean had done his best to give him that, but moving to different motels in different parts of the country on a weekly basis didn't exactly nourish a child's mental health.

Dean slowly pulled back and forth on the knot on his tie, happy to finally be getting out of the monkey suit he had been forced to wear for the past week.

This case had taken a bit of a toll on him and he knew it. He could feel every single scrape and bruise on his body. Poltergeists weren't anything to be afraid of, at least not for Sam and Dean, not anymore. But they sure can pack a punch!

While trying to rub some of the knots out of his shoulder dean finished changing into a much more comfortable old acdc t-shirt and his favorite blue boxer briefs. There is no need for pants. Sam wasn't due home for another few days at least. He thought he had a case down in Louisiana and decided to go it alone, giving dean some off time.

That's something they did now, take time to themselves. After Sam almost died in the trials and Dean with the mark they just decided it wasn't worth it to not live a real life. Dean had gone through so much to get rid of that damned mark. Now that it was finally gone and he was himself again he was just trying to amend all of the suffering he caused and forgive himself. It hasn't been easy by any means, but dean finally felt that he was at a place of acceptance with everything that had happened.

The kitchen was one of his favorite parts of the bunker, second only to his room. As he started taking out the few things that he needed to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich he couldn't help but chuckle a little and think of Cas and how much he missed peanut butter.

Ah Cas, his friend, his angel, his protector. Dean had only recently started to realize just how much Cas had given up for him. How many times he risked his life for him. Though he knew that the angel was busy in heaven, trying to help the other angels get everything back in order, he decided to send Cas a prayer just to let him know he still had friends here on the ground in case he needed a break.

'Hey Cas, hope everything is goin' okay up there buddy. Sammys huntin' and I'm just by myself eating your favorite food, made me think of you. Anyways, stop by anytime, don't be a stranger. We miss ya.' Dean sighed as he took another bite. He really did miss him. It had only been a couple of weeks since he got his true grace back, got his wings back. And he hasn't even been by since he stopped in to let them know what happened. Dean knew that he couldn't blame Cas. He had a duty to heaven and the angels. He knew that it was irrational how much he missed his friend but he couldn't help it.

"Hello Dean" said an oh so familiar voice, startling dean right out of his chair.

"Cas! What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

"Dean, you literally just prayed for me asking me to stop by. So here I am." Cas said with a squint.

"Oh yeah, huh so how's it goin' up there in the clouds?" Dean chuckled.

"How many times do I have to explain to you that heaven is not in the clouds it is another dimens..."

"Okay okay okay, I'm sorry I know. I'm just messin' with ya man." Dean interrupted quickly. "I was about to start a movie. You wanna watch it with me?" Dean looked down at his hands quickly. He didn't want Cas to see the pain that he knew would show in his eyes when cas undoubtedly declines his offer.

But just as Dean's chin falls to his chest, he realizes he is still just in his boxer briefs and worn tee. He was suddenly so unsure of how to act. Hell, this is just Cas, there is no reason to be acting like this.

Castiel had never seen Dean like this so unsure of himself and flushed. He had no idea what was wrong with his human.


	2. Chapter 2

E

Dean finally, reluctantly brought his eyes up to meet Cas'. So many thoughts were running through his head. Him and Cas had always had a special bond. He wore the handprint on his shoulder with pride, with love. It represented the first time, of many, that Cas had saved him.

Dean had never tried to define what was between him and Cas. Their relationship had just adapted naturally over the years. They had gone from strangers, to brothers in arms so quickly. Their connection was unbreakable, that has been proved time and time again. Right now though, it was almost tangible.

Castiel came to Dean's rescue as usual though. "Of course I'll watch a movie with you. The other angels on the council actually decided to take a few days off as well. Everyone has been working very hard, and we've made a lot more progress rebuilding than we expected we would have by now. I don't have much else to do until the council meets again."

"Um, alright thats great Cas, glad things are finally looking up. You can pick a movie, I should just, uh, go put some actual clothes on." Dean said, with an embarrassing squeak in his voice.

"Are you cold?"

"Not really, but I'm only wearing boxers."

"Thats okay, you realize I'm an angel and I have seen countless humans in underwear." Cas replied quickly. He didn't know why exactly, but he didn't want his Dean to put more clothes on.

"Yea, I guess you're right, there's really no need for pants when you're lounging at home."

He liked seeing dean like this. Comfortable, exposed, breathtakingly beautiful. All of gods creatures are beautiful, but he must have taken special care when making Dean. His constant five o'clock shadow stopped at just the right point on his cheek, accentuating his cheekbones just right, the perfect compliment to his strong jaw. He was perfect, and he shouldn't cover up his beautiful body. His boxers were tight around his hips, they were leaving nothing to the imagination. Cas could clearly see the outline of Dean's manhood. He understood why Dean would want to cover up, but damn it he didn't want him to.

"Helloo, earth to Cas, are you gonna stand there checking me out all day or are we gonna go pick out a movie?" Cas hadn't even registered Dean talking the first time, he was so distracted.

"Of course, lead the way." Cas replied quickly, being broken out of his trance. If he was fully human his face would have been completely flushed with embarrassment. Luckily the angel side of him could control his vessel enough to keep the blush at bay.

As the two walked into the living room they fell back into the routine of being close friends and let go of some of the tension that was plaguing them. Above everything else now, they were friends.

Cas walked over to the entertainment center and started looking through the movies. "What genre of movie would you like to watch Dean?" asked cas.

"Doesn't matter to me man." Dean replied from the couch. He was already getting comfortable, pulling the afghan off of the back of the couch and draping it over himself. His legs were up on the couch, leaving just enough room for Cas.

Dean groaned when he saw the movie that Cas put in come up on the screen.

"Really dude? The last Twilight movie? What are you, a thirteen year old girl? The only reason we have that is from when Kevin was here. Kid was obsessed." Dean said, with a sad look in his eyes.

"I am obviously not a thirteen year old girl. My true form is genderless and my vessel is a 30 year old man. Plus you said that I got to pick the movie. I watched all the other ones with Kevin and we never got through this one." Cas shot back, while taking a seat at the other end of the couch, right next to Dean's bare feet. He's so tall that the afghan stopped right at his ankles.

As the movie played Dean got much more into it than he would ever admit. He had watched the rest of the movies with Kevin as well. He was all nice and cuddled into his blanket when he felt his feet being lifted and pulled into Castiel's lap. Cas started rubbing Dean's feet, all the while still being completely absorbed into the movie. It almost seemed to Dean, that he wasn't aware of what he was doing.

Dean's eyes were locked on Castiel's face. He just couldn't put into words what he felt for Cas. It was love surely, but definitely not the same love that he felt for Sam. It was different that anything he had ever felt. It was even stronger than what he had with Lisa. He felt bad admitting that, but it was true. He had managed to let Lisa go, but he could never do that with Cas. It was right then that Dean started to realize that he didn't just love Cas he might be in love with cas.

Suddenly Cas pressed his thumbs right into the arch of Dean's foot, and Dean let out a small moan. He was surprised at himself, Cas was surprised as well. They locked eyes for just a moment before Cas just went back to rubbing Dean's feet and watching the movie.

Dean never thought that he could be attracted to a male, but he also knew that he couldn't classify Cas as strictly male. It didn't matter too much what Cas' vessel looked like, it was the spirit that he loved. However, studying Cas with this new knowledge in mind, Dean couldn't deny that Castiel was beautiful.

He just wanted to be closer to Cas. So he took a deep breath and slowly pulled his feet out of the angels hands, and stood up. Cas looked up, startled. He was about to say something, apologize for touching Dean without his permission, but then Dean sat down right next to him. Their sides were touching, and dean pulled his knees up so that they were almost resting on Cas. Then he spread the blanket over them and said,

"I thought you might be cold, figured I could share." Dean knew this was a lame excuse and that Cas would come back with some response about not getting cold, but Dean didn't care. It felt so good to finally be close to his friend.

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**Hey guys! Thanks so much for reading! This is the first story that I've posted on here and it means so much to already have people reading it. It would help me so much if you guys would comment and give me any advice that you might have. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel was a bit confused by Dean's behavior, Dean had lectured him so many times about personal space, and not getting inside his 'bubble' as he liked to call it. So, why was he now pressing himself into Castiel's side? He wasn't about to argue though, he knew he had already been pressing Dean's limit when he rubbed his feet. Dean just works so hard, and he came to understand, during his time as a human, that feet _hurt_ after being up on them all day. Castiel just wanted to help his human, in any way that he could.

Dean was surprised when Cas didn't argue, but he had never felt so content. All cuddled into Cas' side, almost in his lap. He couldn't even imagine the things that Sam would say if he were here, but at the same time he knew that his brother would never hold it against him. Sam has only ever wanted his brother to be happy.

So, for a while they stayed just like that, until the credits started rolling across the screen. Dean sniffled a little, the end of that movie was just so goddamn happy. He wanted his own happy ending, and it was sitting in a trench coat right next to him.

Dean turned to Cas then, only to have Cas looking right at him, with those squinty eyes. He almost laughed at it, but thought better. Cas could just poof away again anytime he got embarrassed, just like he used to. Dean really couldn't stand the thought of him leaving, but what was there to do now that the movie was over. Castiel didn't need sleep, so there was no reason for him to stay.

Then suddenly Castiel spoke, "Dean, I know you have been very clear about needing your personal space, but I just want to inform you that I do like this. I don't get physical contact very often, sometimes months go by and I realise that I haven't been touched by another. So, I just want you to know that this is very nice for me."

Dean was almost speechless, he had been so completely dense. His poor friend, his poor angel, he had given up everything for him, and even he had basically denied him the friendship and physical contact that he seeked, shamed him for it even. He had let society put walls between him and Cas, he had let the fear of what people, mostly Sam, would think, hold him back. But not anymore, that bullshit would end tonight.

"Oh, my angel, I'm so sorry." Dean said, right before he started placing kisses on the angel. First on the forehead, then his cheeks, and his chin, the corners of his mouth, and then, finally, Dean did what he should have done a long time ago, he kissed his friend on the lips. It was a soft and hesitant kiss at first, closed mouthed and chaste. Although Dean was now sure of his feelings, he didn't know if Cas was, and he wanted Cas to have an out if need be. So Dean slowly pulled back, opening his eyes.

It was so unexpected, so perfect Cas couldn't believe it. He hadn't felt this good in a thousand years. Cas understood what Dean was doing by pulling away, so he did the only thing he could. He pulled the hunter right back in, kissing with a sloppy, hurried passion, that reflected just how inexperienced the angel really was. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at his friends enthusiasm.

"Why are you laughing, this is not an activity that should be laughed at." said Cas with a frown.

"No, I'm sorry, It's not. Youre just so goddamn cute." replied Dean shyly. He was looking down, refusing to make eye contact with the angel. If Castiel had been fully human, in that moment, his face would have been scarlet red. He was at a loss for what to say. In all of his years of existence, he had been called many things. But never cute, and to be called such a thing by the green eyed, freckled hunter made his stomach tighten, and his pulse rise.

"Do you really mean that, Dean?" Castiel put his hand on Dean's chin, tilting his head up until their eyes met.

"Of course I mean it man, I've always thought that… I just didn't really put it together that, that meant I wanted to kiss you until now."

"Because you've only ever thought girls were cute? Right?"

"Right. I know you don't get it, being a genderless all powerful angel. But humans are so judgy, and there are so many rules that we have to follow. I'm sorry I let that get in the way of… this." Dean didn't want to talk anymore, and Cas didn't know what to say. So they just sat there for a while, Dean still curled up in the angels lap, his face tucked into his neck.

Slowly Castiel stood up. Cradling Dean in his arms as he did, and walked them to Deans bedroom. "Can I stay tonight? I can sleep in one of the other rooms, I would just like to stay close."

Dean resisted rolling his eyes, "of course you will stay in here with me. You think I will let you go this soon after that?" Dean asked incredulously.

Castiel said nothing, he simply walked over to the bed, not bothering to turn on the lights, and laid down, pulling his human closer. Deans bare skin felt wonderful on his hands, he had never had the privilege of touching this much of him.

Deans hands roamed Castiel's body as well, but he couldn't feel much through the ten layers of clothing it seemed as if the angel was wearing. Dean let out a grumpy huff.

"What's wrong, did I do something?" Cas asked quickly.

"No, no, don't worry. Its just that, I'm here in nothing but my boxers, and you have a suit and a trenchcoat on, it hardly seems fair is all."

Now this is something that could easily be remedied. Without even having to get up, or snap his fingers, Castiel was suddenly in nothing but his briefs. Dean jumped a little, startled, he didn't think the angel would actually do it. As his eyes traveled downwards he was shocked, the clothing didn't do his body justice.

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_Hey everyone, sorry it has taken so long to update, I have just been swamped with work and school. I promise to have the next chapter up within the next two weeks! And there will be some delicious lemons! Cross my heart. I would also like to say thank you to everyone who has favorite, followed, and commented on my story. I cannot even describe how good it feels to know that there are actual people enjoying it. So please keep commenting, it keeps me going and encourages me to write faster!_


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